Love And Attachment Coach | Briana MacWilliam Inc.

LOVE & ATTACHMENT IN ADULT RELATIONSHIPS

What if there were a simple solution to your most painful relationship problems? 

Gain insight into your love life, in 4 questions, when you take this attachment styles quiz!

Are you looking for a soul-shaking, passionate partnership, but find yourself trapped in roller-coaster relationships with unhealthy partners that you hate to love?

 

Perhaps you have acquired a lot of skills, tips, techniques or "red flags," to help you make better decisions in love, but no matter what you do, no amount of insight seems to help you break free from unhealthy patterns, or stop feeling attracted to the "wrong" kind of partner.  If this sounds familiar, you are in the right place. 

Hi, my name is Briana MacWilliam, and I am a licensed and board certified creative arts therapist, with more than 13 years in the field, working with individuals, just like you.

 

Using a psycho-spiritual approach to attachment styles (which are 4 unique blueprints for how you give and receive love), I help insecure lovers go from self-doubting to self-sovereign, and calling in those soul-shaking, passionate partnerships they want, without having to talk in circles around their feelings for hours or even years on end, with no tangible result. And I do this, using my unique service, The MacWilliam Method. 

 ONLINE COURSES & LIVE DISCUSSIONS

LEARN MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT

DETERMINE YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE

What Are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles are 4 unique blueprints for how you've learned to give and receive love in your childhood, but also through your adult romantic relationships. Your blueprint is often a good indicator of how much closeness or space you desire, when it comes to emotional intimacy.

  • Individuals that want a lot of closeness with a partner, typically have anxious attachment; I call them "Open Hearts." 

  • Individuals who want more space, usually have avoidant attachment; I call them "Rolling Stones." 

  • Individuals that both want and fear closeness, are sometimes considered fearful avoidant or disorganized; I call them "Spice of Lifers."

  • Individuals who are comfortable with both closeness and separateness in relationships, and can flexibly move back and forth between those states of being, are considered securely attached; I call them "Cornerstones."

NOT SURE THIS APPLIES TO YOU?

Most couples who struggle with insecure attachment frequently trigger one another's most basic fears of rejection, failure, criticism and judgement, or just not being "good enough." Both partners are usually trying to prove their worthiness and look to the other to confirm they are lovable, but the way they have learned to ask for approval an acceptance typically starts a fight, or leads to the silent treatment and stonewalling. Inevitably, one partner feels the need to run away while the other feels emotionally abandoned.

 

Watch the video  for a story about this common situation.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE DOING ALL THE WORK, AND ITS NEVER ENOUGH?

If you've been trying hard to impress a partner but wind up walking on eggshells because, no matter what you do it seems to only push them away, it is likely you are an Open Heart. Open Hearts tend to demonstrate behaviors such as...

  • You are accustomed to a lack of love in your romantic relationships, and fall into people-pleasing mode.

  • You tend to give too much, and wait around too long for the reciprocation of loving feelings.

  • You take on more than the Lion's Share of the responsibility, guilt, and blame in any relationship, because you think if you are responsible for something going wrong, it must be within your power to fix it.

  • You may have critically low self-esteem and struggle with feelings of unworthiness.

  • Deep down, you believe you have to earn love and approval, and so, you are drawn to partners that are “challenging” or “edgy,” that make you work for it.

  • On the other hand, if a partner gives you love and affection too freely, you find them “boring,” or “too nice.”

  • By being over-helpful, you make yourself indispensable to a partner. You think, “If they need me, they won’t leave me.” But this generosity is a double edged sword. Since you have worked so hard to make your partner need you, you always question whether or not they really love you for you…(and you probably struggle with knowing who the “real” you is, too).

  • You tend to get lost in the potential of the relationship, rather than the reality of it.

  • You may also struggle with other forms of addiction, such as drug abuse, alcohol abuse, food addictions, shopping addictions, hoarding, gaming addictions, and so on.

  • But the hardest thing for the Open Heart, is that they usually attract other partners with insecure attachment styles, and so they fall into what’s called the anxious-avoidant trap; a circumstance where you typically find yourself in partnership with someone that is emotionally unavailable, thus "proving" your deepest fear: that you are unlovable.

DO YOU NEED SPACE AND A LOT OF PERSONAL FREEDOM, IN LOVE?

If you are sick of falling headlong into relationships, only to wind up feeling bored, smothered, trapped, or worried about hurting your partner, just when things are supposed to be getting good, it is likely you are a Rolling Stone. Most Rolling Stones demonstrate behaviors such as...

  • You are accustomed to partners demanding too much of you, so you are sensitive to even benign requests.

  • You view generosity as a form of manipulation, obligating you reciprocate more than you are comfortable giving.

  • You you anticipate being blamed for when things go wrong in a relationship, and may head it off by avoiding too much responsibility or commitment. 

  • You might be described as having a fear of commitment, but often that is only because you take commitment quite seriously, when and if you finally decide to commit to something.

  • You might be considered aloof or emotionally distant, but when you do feel things, you feel them very intensely (so much, it might scare you). It might be hard to identify the feeling, let alone express it, and so you try your best to shut it down.

  • You may struggle with perfectionism and fears of failure, but act just the opposite so as to avoid appearing too weak or vulnerable.

  • Deep down, you believe you have to earn love and approval, and so, you are drawn to partners that are “challenging” or “edgy,” that make you work for it.

  • On the other hand, if a partner gives you love and affection too freely, you find them “boring,” or “too nice” and question your ability to make them happy.

  • You tend to fall into relationships quickly, but around 3 months, it's like a light switch flips, and all you can focus on are the flaws in the relationship, and the missed opportunities still out there.

  • If your partner flirts with someone else or expresses a need for space, you may feel a sense of relief, at first, followed by a need to test them.

  • You may also struggle with other forms of addiction, such as drug abuse, alcohol abuse, food addictions, shopping addictions, hoarding, gaming addictions, and so on.

  • But the hardest thing for the Rolling Stone, is that they usually attract other partners with insecure attachment styles, and so they fall into what’s called the anxious-avoidant trap; a circumstance where you typically find yourself in partnership with someone that is emotionally dependent on you, thus "proving" your pessimistic perspective on love: that it comes at the cost of personal freedom.

If you feel your partner is a combination of the behaviors of both the Open Heart and the Rolling Stone attachment styles, they are likely a Spice of Lifer.

BUT WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT?

THE LIBERATING TRUTH

​Most people search for quick fixes or easy solutions to changing their partner's behavior, and feel frustrated when they wind up in the same old situations. But the liberating truth is the one common denominator throughout all of your relationships, is you. And all the insight in the world is not necessarily going to make you feel any differently!

 

I help individuals struggling with insecure attachment go from confused and fearful to achieving  self-sovereignty and calling in the soul-shaking, passionate partnerships they want, without having to talk in circles around their feelings for years on end, with no tangible result. And my service is called The MacWilliam Method. 

“I am astounded by Briana’s knowledge of attachment. This comes from someone (albeit a layman) who has read voraciously on the subject for 7 years, now. There is insight and detailed explanations that simply can’t be found anywhere else…She should have a cable show.  The level of clarity provided is beyond anything I’ve seen.”

-Jim Lewandowski

The MacWilliam

 Method

Mastery. Awareness. Creativity.

With The MacWilliam Method, you will come to experience self mastery as evolving out of a continuous loop between conscious awareness and creative expression. The MacWilliam Method is a service that uniquely applies three practical tools to maintain its momentum: 1) Cognitive Reframing, 2) Body Activation, and 3) Arts-Based Experientials. There are several online products you can purchase, to experience The MacWilliam Method, for yourself.

 

HOW IT WORKS

COGNITIVE REFRAMING

To stimulate and activate your intellect and your creativity (which is usually a strength of people with attachment wounds!) I provide psycho-educational tools and tutorials to help you re-frame your experiences on a cognitive level. This helps you re-write painful narratives into positive statements of belief that honor your values and create an openness to receiving the love you want.

BODY ACTIVATION

The body is the first organizer of experience and thus has a tremendous role to play in the resolution of attachment wounds, particularly in cases of severe trauma. With a blend of guided imagery, basic movement, and sound healing, we gently titrate all that anxious energy stored up in your body and neural pathways surrounding your attachment experiences. This creates enough spaciousness in the body and in the brain to build new neural networks, in a healthier framework, using the language of the body and the unconscious.

ARTS-BASED EXPERIENTIALS

It is through creative expression that we stimulate our life force, harness intention, apply insight to action, and begin reconstructing our realities. Externalizing the inner world with a sense of mastery and self sovereignty is how we dialogue with the True Self and summon the strength to change what we can, surrender what we can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference. Arts-based experientials facilitate this process.

“Briana MacWilliam is the kind of teacher who gets down to the bone where the blood is hot and running. She will never point to a thing when she can show it to you… She knows when to drop the important stuff and she drops it on you form her own experiential core. She does not take you anywhere she is not willing to travel herself. She has a combination of grace and grit that make her a fantastic teacher and a fabulous clinician.”

-Alan Pottinger

SELF-DIRECTED ONLINE COURSES

What if there were a simple solution to your most painful relationship problems? Gain insight into your love life, in 4 questions, when you take this attachment styles quiz!

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