3 Strengths of the Open Heart in Love [Anxious Attachment]
Updated: Mar 6
Are you sick of walking on eggshells or chasing after an unattainable partner in your relationships?
If so, you are going to want this replay of today’s livestream, because I am going to explain how you may be struggling with anxious attachment--what I call an “Open Heart” attachment style--and how you can access three great strengths to cultivate the relationship of your dreams.
Now, for the Open Heart, the deeper and more intimate your feelings become, the more closeness and contact you tend to desire.
It’s important for the Open Heart to learn how to allow a partner to make genuine contact with the parts they might be trying to hide (for fear of scaring a partner off), because only then will they be able to genuinely feel the love they so desperately desire.
Equally, they have to be willing to stop idealizing their partners and holding their lived experience up to an impossible standard of perfection.
Hiding behind a dazzling performance, or clinging to a perfect fantasy of what could be, can lead to some damaging tendencies, such as when it comes to expressing a need in the relationship.
Sometimes, Open Hearts are hyper aware of their “neediness” and work hard to suppress it, because they think their partners will abandon them, if they knew how insecure they really were, underneath it all.
Open Hearts have a tendency to give what they want to receive, ask what they want to be asked, and say what they want to hear.
Similarly, they also tend to believe, “If I have to ask, it doesn’t count.”
They believe a partner should be able to read their minds and anticipate their needs; if they have to express a need, then their partner has somehow failed them, or it creates tremendous anxiety because they are convinced a voicing of their needs will lead to rejection and abandonment.
But hoping a partner will just figure out the needs of the Open Heart, and being disappointed and disillusioned when they don’t, is actually a function of giving their power and authority away in a relationship.
Additionally, because they have discounted their own needs so much, many Open Hearts are confused about their own feelings and what they really want for themselves.
As a result, Open Hearts tend to rely on their partners to figure their needs out for them, while at the same time trying hard to never be a burden to their partners, as much as possible. This creates a double-bind, which eventually turns into a pressure cooker.
Sooner or later, the Open Heart ends up exploding and punishing their partner, or turning that pressure in on themselves, becoming anxiously depressed and self-criticizing.
They could then turn to addictive substances for relief, eat over their feelings (trying to stuff it back down), or obsessively control their intake, as a form of managing feelings of helplessness and/or inflicting self-punishment.
Now, everything I have discussed up to this point is about the problems that can arise from an Open Hearted attachment style, but what about the BENEFITS!
In this livestream replay, I explain how you can access three great strengths of the open heart, to inspire a lover to go from, “you’re too good for me,” to “you make me want to be a better partner.”
You won’t want to miss this!
⭐WANT TO LEARN MORE? ⭐
Take the attachment styles quiz:
OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…
Join our community on Instagram.
In love and abundance,
Briana MacWilliam ATR-BC, LCAT
Licensed and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Author, Educator and Reiki Practitioner