4 Strengths of the Rolling Stone [Avoidant Attachment]
Updated: Mar 6
Are you sick of falling headlong into relationships, only to wind up feeling bored, smothered, or terrified of hurting your partner, just when things are supposed to be getting good?
If so, you are going to want to watch this video. Because I am going to explore 4 strengths of individuals with avoidant attachment...what I call Rolling Stones.
As a Rolling Stone, you may be attracted to individuals that admire you for the things you value in yourself and in others, such as a strong work ethic, analytical abilities, high quality performance, and a need to “right” wrongs.
But you might be particularly attracted to those that express these values in dimensions that are dissimilar to your own, and would allow you to experience those values more fully, through your partner.
For example, the hardworking stock broker is attracted to the hardworking artist.
The analytical engineer is attracted to the analytical literature professor.
The high performing surgeon is attracted to the naturopath with a successful business.
The hard-nosed prosecutor is attracted to the animal rights activist, who won’t back down.
You may feel reserved in your emotional expression, maybe even believe that if you allow yourself to become overly emotional, you'll become weak or lose control.
Paradoxically, however, you tend to find a wide emotional range attractive and inspiring in your romantic partners, and may even need your partners to be somewhat effusive or “colorful,” in order to feel that special "spark."
Thus, the deeper and more intimate your feelings become for this partner, the more out of control you feel.
It’s also hard for you to feel confident in accurately labeling your feelings and verbally expressing them outloud.
You start to increasingly feel anxious and smothered, and need to put distance between you and your partner.
This may turn into finding fault with your partner for every little thing, while downplaying and dismissing what feelings you do have for them.
Or, it could look like idealizing and romanticizing your partner as superior to you, and you struggle to understand how you could deserve them.
Much of what you will find in the literature and on YouTube will tell you that avoidance is a horrible thing to suffer with, but it's important to realize and acknowledge all the benefits avoidance affords us, if we are to properly integrate its strengths into a more dynamic experience of felt security, within ourselves, and in relationships.
So make sure you watch this video to learn more!
⭐WANT TO LEARN MORE? ⭐
Take the attachment styles quiz:
OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…
Join our community on Instagram.
In love and abundance,
Briana MacWilliam ATR-BC, LCAT
Licensed and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Author, Educator and Reiki Practitioner