How to Accept When It's Over
Updated: Jun 24, 2019
When we don’t want a relationship to end, we have a tendency to preoccupy ourselves with what we think we may still have control over...even if it's merely an illusion.
Maybe there is a box of personal items you have yet to hand over. Should you meet them in person? Mail it to them? Give it to their friend? Call them one more time, to arrange a date and time, either way?
Maybe there is an expense you have yet to settle. And you find a ways to turn it into a long drawn-out back and forth, with all kinds of bickering, bantering, apologizing, and nickel-and-diming… all of which serves to delay and distract from what solving the issue would ultimately mean: there’s nothing left to talk about.
We find a sense of comfort in it, because it allows us to feel as if the connection is still preserved...there must still be hope, if the candle is kept burning!
But sometimes, that has us chasing the ghosts of what once was, instead of living most fully in the now.
In this video, I address a poignant question from someone dragging their feet regarding their divorce...
"It’s been three years, and still can’t file for divorce. [My wife] still won’t go to counseling...will I ever feel comfortable in making that decision?”
Part of getting “unstuck” when it comes to our romantic lives is recognizing the decisions you ACTUALLY have to make, rather than distracting yourself with decisions that have already been made for you, and over which you truly have no more control.
In this 5 minute video, I offer a reframe for this question specifically, and also share some questions you might ask yourself to get “unstuck” from any circumstance in which you are struggling to accept the situation as it is, and move on.
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In love and abundance,
Briana MacWilliam ATR-BC, LCAT
Licensed and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Author, Educator and Reiki Practitioner