[Insecure Attachment] The Radical Truth About Love-bombing + 6 Signs to Spot a Love-bomber
Updated: Jun 24, 2019
If you’ve ever had the experience of a partner coming on too strong with extravagant gifts, wowing you with over the top dates, and constantly texting you sweet nothings...until you start to show some reciprocation, and then suddenly they ghost you--its likely you’ve been “love-bombed.”
What is love-bombing, exactly?
Maybe you have just started dating someone, and the sparks fly, initially. There seems to be the seeds of potential between you, and perhaps something significant could grow. You’re open to it--the possibility. Sure, why not follow it and see what happens?
Then, suddenly, they turn the volume up to full blast. The texts come non-stop. They start professing divine providence and feeling as if they just know you are meant to be together. They show up with flowers and gifts and take you out on extravagant dates, inundating you with future talking. They surprise you with dinner at their parents house on date three.
At first, you feel a sense of apprehension and distrust. How could they possibly feel that way about you so quickly? They barely know you! You barely know them. It’s like they have a script prepared for every date and this time around, you seem to fit the bill well enough.
At that point, two things usually happen.
Option 1: you bow out and tell them you’re not feeling it, and try to ignore the barrage of texts you receive in response for the next 2-3 weeks, until they finally give up.
Option 2: Perhaps you’re a bit heartbroken over a recent break up, you’ve been desperate for the validation lately. So, you let it go on, when otherwise, you might not have.
You’ve been working on self-help and personal development, and so you try to adopt a positive attitude. You tell yourself…
“Maybe I am being too avoidant. Perhaps, I really have met someone who sees how great I am, even if I haven’t felt so great about myself lately...maybe I am just cynical because I got my heart broken. Maybe I should give it more of a chance and see what happens…”
So, you attempt to reciprocate some of what you’ve been receiving and decide to really invest more of yourself emotionally.
Then, out of nowhere, the attention stops. Like a record scratch, the constant text messaging comes to a grinding halt.
You start getting blamed for things and they seem to turn everything you say into a provocation, picking fights out of nowhere. Or maybe they stand you up a few times, and claim it was your fault for miscommunicating. If you’re in a roller coaster relationship with patterns of love bombing, and emotional distance, after a serious volley, you’ll find your partner’s affections fading again. If you’re in a new dating situation, just when you decide you might be willing to give it a real shot, it’s likely they’ll ghost you, with little to no explanation.
If this sounds familiar, my friend, you’ve been love bombed.
If you want to know more about what love-bombing is and why people do it, you’re gonna want to watch this video.
We are going to define love bombing, and give you six signs to look out for.
Dig into the psyche of the love bomber, and figure out why they might be doing it.
Examine how both avoidant and anxiously attached individuals can be guilty of love-bombing.
So make sure you watch the video and leave a comment letting me know if this has ever happened to you.
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In love and abundance,
Briana MacWilliam ATR-BC, LCAT
Licensed and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Author, Educator and Reiki Practitioner