[Secure Attachment] 3 Steps to Create a Truly Conscious Relationship
If you have been trying to acknowledge, assess, and heal those aspects of your personality that have been giving you grief and sabotaging your romantic relationships unwittingly, but still struggle to feel like you are getting anywhere, because you partners just refuse to get with the program, you’re gonna want to read this email.
In it we address the very common question:
What if one partner wants to grow and change, but the other doesn’t?
This is a loaded question, and there are three parts to this.
We need to define consciousness and unconsciousness
We need to address this notion that Love must be equated with need satisfaction
And lastly, we need to reframe the question in a positive light.
So, first, if we are defining consciousness as the ability to assume an observer position in the internal world, as much as in the external world, then we are essentially defining consciousness as a measure of free will: the ability to choose how to respond to things.
And so, to be conscious in a relationship is to hold a loving position, regardless of where your partner may be in their process.
“I love you because I am love, and nothing you could say or do could detract from what I find valuable and lovable about you, or what I find valuable or lovable about me.”
If we are to say, “ I cannot grow unless my partner grows, and continuing to love them is unhealthy and holding me back” then you are actually still in an unconscious position, as we will define it, and you are equating love with need satisfaction.
And that’s okay too, because that is where you are in your process, and that is information worth investigating.
This doesn’t mean you should stay in that relationship, either. Actually, staying or going is almost besides the point. But once you get the point, you will know unequivocally, whether staying or going would put you in greater alignment with your ever-expanding path.
To dig more deeply into this, checkout this 15-min video and let me know your thoughts in the comments!
Checkout your options on my website, here. https://www.brianamacwilliam.com/self-directed-online-courses
(Pssst! Here are other ways to connect…)
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/attachmentinadultrelationships/
In love and abundance,
Briana MacWilliam ATR-BC, LCAT
Licensed and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Author, Educator and Reiki Practitioner