Why Me? Why Now? Hope, and Attachment Styles in Context
Updated: Sep 17, 2019
I am SO excited to share with you today’s video clip of my interview with Daniel and Priya from Everyday Resonance.
They had a fabulous question for me:
Why is this important to have a knowledge of attachment styles, in conscious relationships?
Many wonderful self-help and personal development books have touched upon attachment styles in the past couple decades, and spent a great deal of effort outlining observable behaviors and attitudes that illustrate these styles, categorically.
Although, the more you learn about it the more you realize its much more dynamic and dimensional than that, and there are more similarities than differences with respect to how we can release the insecurity that belies insecure attachment.
There is also some neurological research which suggests we may have a genetic predisposition towards a particular style, which is basically the same thing as saying, “temperament + social conditioning = attachment style.” Or said another way, “nature + nurture= how we love our partners.”
This is not really a new concept, we have just found better ways of explaining it.
Seeing our temperaments, or our genetic inheritance, explained with images of the brain helps us to draw lines around the “what” that we may be experiencing, but not necessarily the “why” of it.
I am not only referring to the ‘whys’ that take us on a treasure hunt into the past, but rather the ‘why’ of the here-and-now: “Why am I experiencing this, now? What does it all mean, in the broader context of my life?”
Neuroscientists say, “neurons that fire together, wire together,” its as simple as that. We repeat what we know, like a broken record. Psychodynamic theorists like to be more poetic about it: we want to relive, in the hopes of revising, old wounds.
But what part of us hopes?
And that is how attachment leads us to expanding into conscious relationships. Because consciousness is all about assuming an observer position in the internal world, as much as the external one.
But most of us persist with an external orientation, until something cataclysmic happens in our lives, which forces us to take a personal inventory. And nothing forces our hand in such a way, like heartbreak.
To learn more, watch the interview!
If you are sick of trying to be a mindreader and chasing after emotionally unavailable partners, OR you're overwhelmed and exhausted from walking on eggshells around perpetually anxious and dissatisfied partners, I have just the thing for you.
Most people bang their head against the wall trying to figure out how to inspire their partner to be more of what they want, and then wind up feeling frustrated, dejected and abandoned, when that doesn't work out!
Then they assume they must've missed important red flags, and become red flag hunters, only to wind up attracting the same kind of wolf in sheep's clothing, over and over, again and again.
Why on earth does that keep happening?
Because despite all the quick fixes and short cuts to texting like a dating coach while meticulously eliminating all the potential "bad" partners in the world, the one common denominator in ALL of your relationships--and I hate to break it to you-- is YOU.
The only way to start attracting different partners is to change what YOU are attracted to.
>>And that is an inside-out process<<
In my online course, Healing Attachment Wounds with Mindfulness and Creative Arts Interventions, I provide creative, fun, and easy tools for affecting this change, even if it requires processing some painful emotional material.
And today, I have a special offer for you, for 82% off!
Here's the no fluff breakdown...
What is this program about?
Healing Attachment Wounds offers 7 creative, fun, easy lessons over the course of 7 weeks, and takes you from feeling lost and confused about your romantic relationships, to stepping into your fullest and most sovereign self, without having to talk in circles around your feelings for hours (or even years) on end, with no tangible result.
What will I learn?
➤The intersections between attachment, complicated grief and addiction.
➤How to transform anxious feelings using creative exercises and guided visualizations, and tap into your intuition.
➤Six signs of the anxious-avoidant trap, the 4 neuro-chemicals that make this a physically addictive relationship, and the role of fantasy in “push-pull” relationships.
➤Four Parenting styles and their potential impact on adult attachment relationships.
➤The impact of 5 core brain systems and how they impact relationships.
➤How to identify and shed two types of limiting beliefs that keep you locked in a cycle of self-sabotage.
➤How to reclaim the sacred body and transform unprocessed rage through arts-based approaches, and an inspirational story.
How do I know this course is for me?
If you have ever struggled with such questions as...
-"How do I know if my feelings are real?"
-"How do I stop wanting for someone that I KNOW is terrible for me?"
-"How do I stop self-sabotaging, when it comes to my love life?"
-"How do I learn to trust my gut, when it got me into this mess?"
-"How do I approach my relationships from a place of consciousness and personal responsibility?"
-"How do I quiet the inner judge and learn to embrace myself with love?"
-"How do I stop trying to save my partners from themselves?"
-"How do I make myself more comfortable with emotional intimacy?"
You'll find that Healing Attachment Wounds may be the best investment you make in your love life, this year.
But more than that, this course is for...
➤➤For the dreamer who keeps their heart open and is ready for transformational changes in life…
➤➤For the brave heart that is willing to BREAK FREE from unhealthy patterns of living and loving…
➤➤ For the trailblazer, that is ready to leave behind the FANTASY of perfection that keeps us IMPRISONED in a perpetual cycle of pain, abandonment, rejection and longing…
➤➤ For the hopeful soul, determined to step into TRUE LOVE, in all its beautiful messiness...
I challenge you to prioritize YOURSELF today, by making one small investment in yourself, and in your future, by joining Healing Attachment Wounds, before this sale ends on September 30th, 2019.
Transformation is rarely linear, sometimes progress feels like fear, and TRUST is a verb.
Wherever you may be on your romantic journey, let this course be the first step towards CONSCIOUSLY CREATING a love life that makes your heart SING, and help you to TRUST THE PROCESS!!
Enroll now: http://bit.ly/HAWSept82OFF
You'll be so glad you did!
(P.S. Replays will be made available)
Briana MacWilliam ATR-BC, LCAT
Licensed and Board Certified Creative Arts Therapist
Author, Educator and Reiki Practitioner